Self Esteem Research: How did we get this way?

Ladies, ladies, ladies.....How did we get this way? When did we start putting ourselves last? Now don't say you put yourself first because we know that just isn't true. We watched our moms do it day in and day out. We put the kids, spouse, job, everything before our mental and physical health. Then we delude ourselves into thinking we put ourselves first with a spa day. Remember when you were little and ran sh*t. We walked around in our cute little dresses and pig tails telling folks what we wanted fully expecting to have our needs satisfied and our requests met. It never occured to us that anything or anyone came before us. Some of us even regulated whole households, rapping knuckles with rulers. LOLOL That regulating didn't stop at home either. We regulated in school too! Telling our classmates to fall in line or suffer the wrath! I remember those days vividly. Kindergarten....telling Dion that he was the daddy and eat this play doh!! Guess what? He did it. They all did it!! We little girls ruled and the world fell in line.

Now you wonder where that empowered little girl disappeared to?! It all started with "she talks too much". Those words are the bain of every woman's existence. They were certainly mine, first hearing them in grade school. Then we move to middle school and here comes "You think too much". Some dumb boy trying to tell me I didn't see him making eyes at the other girl in front of me. Hit adulthood and start to make families....a marriage falls apart and women everywhere hear "You give too much". It is a methodical way of censorship. Take away our voices and soon the body will follow blindly!

So how does any of this affect self esteem? Imagine never feeling like there is a proper time to express yourself. All grown up and we've learned that "talking too much" is wrong, after that "thinking too much" is annoying and "giving too much" is disasterous. Giving too much is the nail in "LAST ON THE LIST" coffin. By making ourselves last to be taken care of, we put our health in jeapardy. Female censorship unchecked leads to all kinds of health issues not to mention the stress associated with repression. Society has us so snowed that even in the advent of feminism we are still expected to do it all...expected to be Superwomen capes and all. Once we put ourselves last, we give the people in our lives permission to put us last too. What is soo annoying is that after being told we are too talkative, smart and compassionate from first grade on up....our censorship becomes self inflicted.

We need to start thinking of ourselves like mother ducks. Every depiction shows Mama first. FIRST!! Not last, not middle. FIRST!! Let's take a page from nature and tell the kids, hubby, work, everybody...."Everybody Gets What They Want, Especially Me!"